I Often Travel to China on Business

I often travel to China on business. Sometimes, I've arranged to meet someone I've corresponded with on ChinaLove.com and I've had many of the same bad experiences you've all had with this website. (Of course, I like looking at the beautiful women, but I don't use or recommend this website and some other websites.) Many of the agencies in different cities practice a "bait-and-switch" program in which you are actually just writing the translator, but thinking you are writing to a beautiful, charming and, of course, flattering woman - who I call the "ringer". Sometimes, a beautiful woman may show up, but then decide you're not for her - especially if you have not immediately showered her with "gifts". Of course, the agency will apologize for her behavior, then offer to introduce you to some of their other "clients".

A word to the wise: Don't immediately take some Chinese women shopping upon meeting them. Many of the women will later take the merchandise back to the store for their "commissions". The average Chinese can not afford expensive designer clothing, jewelry, and handbags. They know that expensive items will be stolen by others in China. Although much of China looks modern, most Chinese still live in a survival mode. Their form of ethics is based more on "face" (i.e., mianzi); not on some western idea of moral guilt or conscience. A sincere woman will not want you to spend much money on her. (The typical Chinese is very frugal.) In other words, avoid shopping trips until you know the woman better. Everything in China works according to "guanxi" and kickbacks.

I've had some really funny experiences in meeting women on some of these websites. I say funny because some of the women I've met literally meet the western criteria as prostitutes and "gold diggers". Of course, I've met a couple of women who were "keepers", but they were not really motivated in moving to a westerner country.

I keep an open mind and always leave myself an escape plan. When you go to China to visit a woman, just remember to plan to see and enjoy China - regardless of your disappointment in the woman your meeting. Feel free to either excuse yourself or just walk away if something doesn't feel right. Likewise, if it's too good to be true, it probably is! Don't sit around and make excuses to yourself that it's because of "our cultural diffferences". Many Chinese know that westerners are naive, generous, and we tend to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. They will use this to their advantage. Again, this is part of "face". Of course, most Chinese are friendly, warm, and honestly won't take advantage of foreigners (i.e., laowai)

I like to eat Chinese foods. Just be sure to visit restaurants that are full of Chinese because they usually live close to the restaurant and they trust the restaurant. Of course, drink bottled water, beer, and hot teas.

Avoid the street prostitutes and don't go off with some woman who invites you to a suspicious tea house or coffee shop. If you do this, you're either going to get "rolled', picked up by the police; or at the very least, be extremely overcharge by the "tea house" - usually enforced by thugs at the front door.

Although uninforced amongst the Chinese, prostitution is illegal in China and it's a big business with the police working with prostitutes to nab a foreigner and drain his ATM or credit card before escorting him back to the airport for his trip home. You can forget your baggage and clothing. You're only going home with what you have on when they "entrapped" you.

I could tell a hundred stories of women I've met, but if you are looking for the "hottest" woman of your dreams on ChinaLove.com, you might be disappointed. Better to just China and go wandering. Many Chinese are curious about westerners and will approach you if you appear available. Likewise, not all Chinese are dishonest; but unfortunately, some of the websites promote a "dream image" that is just not the reality, but makes them a lot of money from both naive Chinese women and foreign men. Good luck and keep an open, but cautious mind when you travel.